Paya's House: The Lost Tales Part 2 - Dating Game
by GrayHuntress
Summary: Hunter and Elder, Honorable Ulfr, wants to impress our girl Sally. He needs to learn about ooman courtship customs and he's determined to do it right! What will this alien overachiever think of our dating and relationships? Come be with Ulfr, Sally, Sig'dan and all the other Yautja guys again in this addition to the original story.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hey you, yea YOU. Thanks for all the support at the end of my last read. Your feedback was a real shot in the arm. Reviews help keep a writer going, you know. Well, other than the shear joy of writing! Okay, back to naming the chapters. It's so fun. I really missed it. As usual, I own nothing except my own characters.**_

**Chapter One: Member's Mark**

Deep in thought, the Hunter moved one umber-colored finger over the projection. _I must locate an area where large numbers of males and females congregate_. Ulfr studied dimensional real-time images sent to him by the small round drone hovering over the town. Not wanting to draw undesired attention to the Paya's House facility, he had selected a good sized city a distance away from the House's desert location. Here, there were rolling hills as well as plains, sparse woodland and scrub, and a largely water-free river-bed flowing along one edge of the city. Determined to educate himself, regarding ooman mate selection customs, he had decided to cloak and mingle with Blue Planet inhabitants, observing their ways. It was another kind of hunt for him, this close study to learn the habits of prey. Only this time it was to court, not to kill.

He watched one of the larger buildings, not tall but quite wide, with many people going in and out. There were individuals, groups, even families with pups in tow. A group of immature females had exited their vehicle and was approaching a doorway, even now. Just as they neared the entrance, a young male was exiting. Ulfr dipped the drone lower and watched as the females pretended not to notice the male while he unabashedly looked at each one. Via his mask, the Hunter could see the measurable heat rise in the females which was accompanied by immature odd noises of embarrassed ooman humor. The giggling group literally pushed each other into the building and as they did so the young male, who had been watching them, made a sharp turn and reentered. _Ha! He stalks them. Perhaps this would be a worthwhile place to begin my study. _

Hurtling down in a hunting pod to crater the parking lot of the building was out of the question. He did not want to alert anyone to his presence. So Ulfr carefully piloted his cloaked ship to softly land in a nearby open fallow field. Then, in full hunt gear he strode out, visible only to the sharp-eyed as an undulating shimmer in the sunlight. Carefully making his way through thick clumps of grass and tall stalks of wild sunflowers, he found himself at the edge of the green space and began to peruse a large flat black artificial surface. The mid-day summer sun warmed him comfortably enough to envision peeling away his armor and stretching out to enjoy some rays. Snapping his mind back to focus on what was before him he carefully took in the scene and plotted the best way to enter the building. The wavering black surface stretched before him, a layer of heating air rising above it. Straight yellow lines slashed the space at regular intervals and he reasoned they were guides for maneuvering the ooman's vehicles into small landing bays. Vehicles were indeed moving about, pulling in and out of the marked areas. People were also milling about, walking purposefully to and from the building. Most of those leaving were pushing wheeled metal carts full of white bags that fluttered in the breeze. Here and there, a squalling pup was either seated at the back of a cart or was pulled along by an adult hand. Dialing up the magnification power of his mask, Ulfr zeroed in on a particularly loud pup's screams. The tiny unattractively smooth-cheeked face was scrunched in disapproval and dark stains decorated the continually open mouth. Shuddering in distaste, Ulfr quickly looked away. A dirty bawling ooman pup was unsettling. Did its Bearer not look after it properly?

Winding around the cars, the Hunter invisibly made his way to the front of the building. Whenever there was danger of being spotted, he instantly froze until whatever gaze was upon him had shifted. It was a long-cultivated habit of prudent caution that he knew was wasted among these preoccupied creatures. None of them looked to see what was around them. All of them seemed busy, either with their own thoughts or talking to each other or on one of their communication devices. He could unsheathe his wrist blades and take all of them in a few seconds, he realized. None would be aware enough to warn any of the others. _Such muddled, unobservant creatures. How did their lineage ever survive and rise to become so numerous on this planet?_

In front of him were the doorways. Two sets of entrance and egress made of clear panels that opened automatically whenever they sensed someone in front of them. He would have to time his entrance with a patron, so as not to arouse suspicion. Looking up at the heavy stone expanse above the doorways, he saw the large letters, Sam's Club.

Ulfr's spoken English was very good; however, reading was more difficult. _Sam's Club. This is Sam's Club? Club, a weapon… no that's not correct. Club, a gathering place or group. Sei, that might be it. This must be a meeting place. Who is Sam? I would like to meet the ooman who has such a club named after him. _

Movement to his left caused the Hunter to stop and turn his gaze. What he saw took his breath away. All of his ooman mates were physically fit. He would never consider one who wasn't. However, even fit human females were puny compared to a Yautja female. Uflr held perfectly still in caution and in excitement.

**She** was exiting her vehicle, the largest, most magnificent ooman female he had ever seen. Tall and broad, her shoulders seemed to out-span the back of her vehicle's seat as her head brushed the ceiling. Hands almost as thick as his own grasped the steering wheel. Parking completed, she exited the car but instead of leaving, looked within. There she stood bent over with her head inside the vehicle as if searching for something. Ulfr watched in fascination until she emerged, bringing a large brown lumpy bag with her. She now stood and he could take in her entire form. A long floral tee stretched over her curvaceous top and smoothed down over the slickness of long black tights.

_Paya! Among oomans, to find such beauty! Such thighs! She could easily carry pups! Such wide hips are worthy of a Matriarch! _A broad bosom graced her front and shoulders sprouted great arms, wider than his hand could hold! She must have amazing genetics to have such a build. Genetics that would benefit the future of his line! His head cocked quizzically to the side as the woman began to lumber towards the store. His elation sagged into disappointment as, running through all of his mask's vision settings, he soon discovered that the immense diva of his dreams consisted mostly of fat. The huge body was not due to muscular development, but to an accumulation of pounds and slabs of body fat. Disappointment continued coursing through Ulfr, who had, for an instant, thought he had discovered a had-to-have new member for his harem. He knew that many ooman females were by Yautja standards, plump and lacking muscle. But never before had he personally witnessed such a female as this. What had caused this to happen to her? It was unfortunate he decided and stored her image in his mask's record to be researched later.

_It's true. I miss them. It is so difficult to mate with such small females. To be constantly careful of breaking them. To mindlessly mate as a true Hunter again, only concerned with sowing my seed without getting injured myself…that was a true coupling…born of Paya! Then leaving a great Matriarch twitching in pleasure as she pulled my offering deep within to conceive a pup. Those were the days…_

The scents and grunts of Yautja mating filled his mind for a moment as he walked to the front of the store. Timing his entrance with an elderly gentleman, Ulfr agonizingly slowed his pace to enter the store directly behind the shopper. As he entered, another, rather plump, ooman was perched on a stool directly in the middle of the wide path. "Welcome to Sam's," she chirped and inspected small rectangles that everyone showed her. The man nodded in reply as he dutifully showed his pass and Ulfr suppressed the playful urge to invisibly pluck it from his hand. It was taking all his skills to walk silently in metal sandals on the tile floor. A large display of round black wheels was off to his left. It was there that he removed his footwear and stowed it. He would retrieve it later. For now, it was so much easier to walk around barefoot. He had only to care for the click of his toe claws.

He surveyed the interior. To the left were lines of oomans with those metal baskets. The one at the front of each line took everything from its basket and placed it on a conveyer where it was scanned by a worker. Then, everything was put back in the cart. He assumed it was a payment system. This must be the equivalent of a market on Yaut and yet there were no stalls of vendors. Everything to be purchased was arranged throughout the space without the personal touch of being able to actually meet the one who had grown or created your purchase. _This society is impoverished, _went through his mind and not for the first time since he had accepted this mission.

Automatically following the scent of food, he moved off towards displays of fresh produce. As he neared the first boxy structure, his masked eyes came to rest on another very small ooman. This was a little female, sitting wide-eyed in her basket, staring straight at him. An automatic check showed his cloaking intact. What was she seeing? Experimentally, he slowly waved a hand. A giggle popped out of the pink mouth as the toddler's entire face lit up. Up went her hand and she waved back.

_C'jit! Surely she can not see me. _The youngster's mother looked up from selecting pears to see what was entertaining her daughter. It was nothing. Maybe someone had walked by, catching the baby's attention. The woman went back to picking out fruit. Easing out a breath, Ulfr reasoned that evidently the young one could make out his cloaked shape. Something that adult oomans spent years attempting to learn to do. Perhaps she could see heat signatures? _Doubtful_. _She undoubtedly sees my camouflage moving. This pup has not developed its mind enough to ignore what it sees._

Enjoying himself, once he again waved. Giggles erupted, followed by a tiny crow and small arms reaching out to him. The mother glanced, but was determined to find the best fruit. So gingerly, the giant Hunter approached with outstretched arm, a single finger extended to the child. _How I miss my pups, _he thought as his large shimmering digit was touched by her small innocent one. A quaver went through his camouflage, much like ripples from a thrown pebble in a pond and the child's mouth formed an 'O'. Quickly, he pulled back and walked on, reluctantly leaving the happy inquisitive pup behind.

Rounding the potatoes and onions, Ulfr proceeded towards a significantly sized area that held stacked shelves of colored beakers and cases of cans. Many were dark brown, some green and a few clear or orange. Loud labels colored each one and various sizes were visible. Two young females along with a male were having a discussion. He sidled up to hear. From what he could garner, they were trying to decide which of the colored bottles or cases to purchase. No reasoning he could understand was being used. Soon bored, he moved on.

The sudden scent of fresh meat assailed him and soon he was lured to the long section of flesh and fowl attractively displayed and bathed in cold. He turned up the heat in his mesh. What a bountiful display! Instead of whole carcasses, the prey had been butchered into desirable sections and packaged. He walked the length of the beef section, nearly drooling over thick chuck roasts and top sirloin. The ground meat had no appeal to him. That was for toothless pups. So engrossed in this bounty of flesh, he nearly walked into a young male hunkered over the cooler trying to make a choice. Just in time, Ulfr pulled back but the young male noticed a disturbance in the air. Soon surmising it was nothing, he went back to studying steak. From the corner of his mask eyes, he saw a young female approaching. She stood near the male and also began looking over the selection of meat. Then, she began picking up packages to study and then putting them down. The young male watched curiously. Finely he asked, "Perhaps I could help. I mean, if you don't mind. What are you looking for?"

"I don't know," she wailed. "I just got this new apartment and my parents are coming for dinner and I want it to be special and I have like NO idea what to fix."

The male smiled at her, "So you had steak in mind?"

"Well, ya. I want it to be special. So steak, baked potatoes, salad and something from the bakery for dessert. But I've never fixed a steak before." She looked up at him at last and gave a small smile. "Honestly, I'm kind of a klutz around the kitchen."

Fascinated, the Yautja watched the male assist the female in finding just the right flesh and then give her some pointers for preparing it. She thanked him profusely for his help, until his color went rather pink. Ulfr watched as the heat index went up for him. Zooming in, he detected pupil dilation in both parties.

"So, a… I'm Bryan, by the way." He stammered.

"Oh! And I'm Cherie." She extended her hand and he shook it.

"Cherie, like the French?"

"Yea, my mother adores anything French. Don't you know she's never been to France though." The female laughed.

"A, Cherie, would you like to get together with me over a coffee sometime? I'd like to hear how your dinner went…goes…whatever."

"Really? I'd like that, too."

Right before their alien witness, the two exchanged contact information, entering it into their cell phones.

_That seems simple enough, _he mused. _Food is important in any culture. So the female was perplexed and the male offered assistance. It may not be food, but I must be on the alert for any way to assist Sal'lee. She will be grateful and then we may exchange contact information. I must remember to ask her if she would like to meet me over…what was it? Caffee? Coff-ee. It was Coff-ee. What is that? Is coff-ee part of the courting ritual? How do you meet over it? I will find out._

Tucking that information away, Ulfr moved on, away from the delectable flesh. There were still many oomans to observe, but now he was hungry. _Later! _He ordered his stomach, calming the internal growls. _Later I will consume an entire rinth hind quarter. That will be my reward for today's hunt for knowledge! _

The Hunter stealthed his way down the aisle of breakfast cereal and nearly gagged at the strong sugar stench. Nothing but shopping parents and more wailing children met him there. After combing all the food aisles, he decided to skip the cleaning and paper products and instead headed for the deli. A long line had formed, waiting to be served by the young male behind counter who appeared to have a skin illness. His face was punctuated by red eruptions. Some vague scarring showed where this was a chronic situation. Ulfr was sympathetic to his gawkiness. Like Yautja, young male oomans went through a fast growth period when they did not seem to know how to use their limbs. Like unfamiliar branches, they waved about trying to accomplish with a minimum of knocking and stumbling. An older female and a younger one, somewhat below the male's age he thought, were currently being served. The uncoordinated male was spooning some horrible looking green shreds covered in white goo from a large platter under a clear panel and placing it in a clear container. Snapping on a lid and affixing a label, he asked, "Will there be anything else?"

The older female peered down at the other unappetizing dishes while the young female only had eyes for the male. "Hi, Andy!" she glowed at him. "I didn't know you were working here."

"Uh, a, ya. Just started last week." He waited for the woman to decide what else she wanted.

"Well that's great!" the girl gushed. "I wish I could get a job, but Mom says not yet."

"Sure," he said, ignoring her. In the meantime, the woman pointed at another dish of brown pellets, stuck in brown goo. "A large container of baked beans."

The male obediently began glopping up her order.

Ulfr's scans revealed the definite interest of the young female in the cosmetically unfortunate male. Her heart rate was up and her endocrine system was racing. Unfortunately, the male seemed to be as interested in her as he was in dishing up baked beans, maybe less. Ulfr thought. _While these individuals are younger, the female shows courting interest. Why is the male not reciprocating? What about her is undesirable? Why is she attracted to an ill specimen? This is baffling! I do observe, however, that she has not requested his assistance with anything. In fact, it is her Bearer that asks for his assistance, even if it is only in serving food. But there is no sexual interest by the Bearer in this male. This courting system is complex. _

Completing his tour of the food and household section of the store, Ulfr now made his way to the back where a large selection of televisions, cell phones and other devices awaited him. There were many young oomans of both sexes in this area. So with hope renewed, he quietly watched. In one aisle, he noticed more oomans were gathering. They were examining and selecting small flat squares. Curious, he silently made his way to look over a young female's shoulder. She was holding a square and talking to another young female who accompanied her.

"Oooooooo, I just LOVE Miles Cumberbatch! With this one, I'll have the whole collection!" Her friend squealed in agreement as the first girl hugged the square to her chest. They left for the checkout as the Hunter examined the shelved squares more closely. What were they? Titles jumped out at him, 'Outlander: Destruction of Craigh na Dun', 'Aliens: Queen Ripley's Daughter, 'The Three Musketeers', and 'Avatar 7 – Eywa v Monstanto'.

Baffled, the Hunter moved on to watch the large viewing screens mounted on the wall. The largest was advertised as 200 inches of curved wall viewing. Ulfr stood close, until even his peripheral vision was taken in by the viewer. Something was beginning to appear on the screen and he watched, fascinated, as several scenes went by and then the words 'The Three Musketeers' appeared. _One of the squares! It must be data for this viewer, perhaps the glorious history of the Forebearers and Foresires has been recorded, just as we do on Yaut._

As the music started to crescendo, a self-conscience mandible of amusement rose. Well, rose as much as he could manage in a mask as a chagrined Ulfr realized it was merely fictional entertainment. _I have heard of this but have never bothered to watch. Perhaps another time._ With a shimmery shrug, he moved on.

Maybe this was not the best place to watch courting behavior, he realized. Within the entire structure, he had only found two examples and only the first one had been educational. _More research is required. Perhaps through their visual entertainment I may be provided with more answers. On board my ship I can alter my viewer to utilize their entertainment frequencies. Such frequencies cover the entire planet and it is reported that many oomans spend substantial time viewing them. That is were I will search next! _

Decisively, Ulfr headed back out to the parking lot. While crossing it, he noticed a young woman in fluffy clothing, standing helplessly by her vehicle. Moving closer, he saw that one of its round wheels was deflated and crouched down by the wheel was a young man, positioning something. Standing still as a post, the Hunter watched and listened.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the female said. "And you've got your good clothes on and everything."

"Not your fault," the male grunted, as he pumped on the jack. The car rose and he proceeded to change the tire.

"We're going to be late!"

"Maybe. But this tire's gotta be changed. Will you get the spare out of the trunk?"

"I've got my good dress on!" The female wailed back as she held her hands out expressively over the sea of pink.

"And my suit's enjoying this too," he replied snappishly.

"Oh! Sorry." She scurried back to the trunk and struggled with something, returning with what appeared to Ulfr to be a joke. The female held out an undersized wheel to the male.

_That wheel cannot be used for any duration of time on that vehicle. It is small and weak. Why is that the replacement part? Anything could damage it. _

Although Ulfr could detect no significant dirt, the female now was holding out her hands trying not to touch her clothing. The male completed the job and threw tools back in the trunk. "Okay," he said more cheerfully, "Let's see if we can make up for lost time!"

"Now, John! You're not going to speed are you? You got a ticket last time."

"Dammit, do you always have to bring that up? Yea, I got caught and got a ticket. So, I'm a dangerous driver now, right?"

The female's chin quivered, "There's no reason to yell at me. I was just reminding you to be more careful. That's all."

"Well all you do is nag, woman!" The female was now crying. Ulfr saw that others kept their distance from the fighting couple. Some took a circuitous route to avoid them.

"Go ahead, cry about it now! I'm so sick of your nagging and crying! Cut the drama, will you?" His face was red with anger now. Ulfr measured his body's reactions and saw the dramatic rise in adrenalin. _Will he attack the female? How cowardly! _The Hunter's blade wrist flicked nervously. If the male attacked, should he interfere?

Now the female screamed back, "And I'm sick of your carelessness and…and... your lies! You don't want to be in this relationship! Do you?"

The male's hand went into the air as if to strike, even as Ulfr's entire body tensed to spring. Fortunately for him, the male stopped himself. "Let's just go home. You've spoiled this entire evening. I just wanna drink and to go to bed." Weeping, the female got in and they left.

_Such a small thing to escalate into an argument. They blamed each other for everything with no apparent cooperation. This was ooman pair bonding? Was this a common example? _He shuddered again and thanked Paya for the kehrite, the arena in which all disagreement was worked out. Had there ever been a contest between a male and a female in all of Yaut's long history? He could not think of one. Males and females got together to mate. Period. The male would visit his offspring while still with the female. There was no pair bonding such as oomans did. Females basically governed and made society work. Males basically hunted and warred. _And what does Sal'lee expect? I will not simply take her to mate as I have my others, but what will our bond be and will it be sufficient for her? _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Bridge Potatoes**

Sig'dan entered the bridge to take his shift monitoring the controls. Everything was on what an Earthling would call 'autopilot' but, never one to depend on tech over his crew, Ulfr still ordered a watch. The youngest of the crew, Sig'dan, had just completed his Hard-Meat hunt and gained his mark of adulthood when his Sire had ordered him to join this mission. It meant putting obtaining a mate on the back-burner for now and while the young Hunter chafed inwardly, he was obedient to the command.

"My Elder, I am here for duty," he formally addressed his brother who was also in command of this mission. Ulfr nodded his head in acknowledgement from his position in the command chair but continued fiddling with the controls, his talons quickly clicking here and there on the panel.

"The watch is passed to you," the Elder replied. "I will be here for a time. While you must first attend to your watch, you may find my research interesting."

Sliding into the seat next to Ulfr, Sig'dan perked to be invited in on anything his big brother was doing. "May I ask what you are investigating?" He treated his brother most politely, especially within hearing or sight distance of any of the rest of the crew. Only at times when they were completely alone and relaxed did the formal discipline between them melt into a familiar camaraderie, complete with teasing and mock disrespect. Here at the command center of the ship, they tended to be more official and proper with each other.

"I wish to learn more of ooman customs."

Sig'dan was surprised. No one among them knew more about oomans than Elder Ulfr. The Blue Planet had been one of his favored hunting grounds before the interplanetary treaty between Yaut and what its English-speaking inhabitants called 'Earth'. The purpose of the treaty was to divide the planet into sections – one for each Clan. Within each section, a Clan was free to take ooman females for the purpose of mating and reproduction. In return, all hunting on the planet ceased. Earth continued to pay tribute to the Yautja by supplying them with criminals to be taken to various hunting planets.

"Any particular customs?" Sig'dan braved.

Knowing his younger brother would be curious, Ulfr was ready to indulge with an answer. "There is an area that I have not studied. The area of ooman courting customs. Courting is a prelude to mating. I have made a few observations planet-side and to supplement that knowledge, I am altering this viewer to interpret the broadcasted signals that provide information and entertainment to ooman dwellings. There! I believe I have been successful."

The viewer cleared itself of static and a picture emerged. It was a man shaving his face accompanied by music and words. Shortly afterward, a woman was seen smiling at him and stroking his face. The message was clear - females preferred a smooth, hairless face. Ulfr and Sig'dan turned to look at each other, as the Elder switched the receiver to continue recording but mark his place.

"Brother," Ulfr thoughtfully stroked his chin, "Do you think my face is smooth enough to be palatable to an ooman female?"

Astounded at the odd request, Sig'dan drew a complete blank. It was an unfathomable question with no way to reply. Yautja certainly did not have facial hair. Tiny skin-like scales covered their faces with a flexible and deceptively strong protective layer. The younger Yautja was now growing uncomfortable under his brother's demanding glare. After all, he HAD been asked a direct question by an Elder.

"Honorable Brother," he began, "that is not something I have ever considered in even the smallest molecule of my brain. In truth, I do not know."

"Nor do I," came the muttered reply. "Nor do I know how to find out."

Apparently, this was something that mattered to Ulfr, so Sig'dan dug deep in his brain, trying to find an answer. "You…you could ask one."

The Elder's substantial brow lifted, "And how do you propose I go about doing that? Just go down and approach one on the surface? 'Ooman female! Feel my face!' Do you think I would receive a true answer?"

Sig'dan almost sighed. Did his brother really think he was so stupid? Treading carefully he answered, "I considered that you might ask one of your mates. They know you and would perhaps give you a truthful answer." _Or they might not, _he thought, _depending on how afraid of you they still are._

"That is a possibility," the basso rumble replied. "I had not thought of that. Your input is positively noted."

Sig'dan beamed inwardly. His brother had actually complimented him! _Why does he seek this information? It is not needed to acquire an ooman female for breeding. I have not been on my first mating hunt yet, but even I know that. You select one, study her for a time to ensure she is suitable and then…you take her. If she produces strong pups, she is retained to ensure your bloodline. _

Ulfr turned the viewer back on and flipped frequencies until he finally settled on a program to view. "The Bachelor" came on the screen in large dark letters. A fit young male appeared in several scenes and then many equally young and fit females were shown. The two Hunters were glued to the screen for a time as the show unfolded, the only stir being dutiful Sig'dan checking all systems from time to time. No words were exchanged as the show went on with many of the females having solo time with the male doing various activities. Periodically, the male would comment on the females or the females would discuss the male among themselves. When the program ended, Ulfr again halted the viewer and sat thinking for a time. _I found many aspects of this disturbing. However, I know my viewpoint is traditional. I wonder what Sig'dan's opinion of this is, having no actual experience in this farce of an arena. _So he turned to his brother, "What are your thoughts regarding this?"

"I am still evaluating, Elder, and believe I will be for some time. I do have initial impressions that I can share with you."

"Do so."

"This is obviously completely opposite of normal Yautja mating behavior. In a normal social structure, many males should be competing for the right to mate a female. The competition among these females seems to be based upon how physically attractive the male finds them, although I cannot yet fathom the standard. There is also a component of their ability to interest him mentally with conversation which seemed to be mostly calculated to appeal to him through complements and attempts to be entertaining. At least I think that was the basis of it. My ooman is still not as good as yours. It is difficult to assess without any scent to accompany it."

"Ha! Rather like being around Sal'lee or the Paya's House ooman's, is it not?"

Chortling clicks of humor rose from both brothers regarding the continuing frustration of the inability to detect scent from Sally or her co-workers. Aware of the Yautja's olfactory abilities they deliberately neutralized themselves in order to remain scent message neutral around the Ancients. While this worked very well in the running of the House, it made for continual frustration among the Yautja crew as they found one of their main communication pathways inhibited.

"And you, Honorable Brother, what is your analysis of what we observed?" Sig'dan waited to hear the wisdom of his older half-sibling.

"I am in agreement with your words. I also add to them. I am troubled by the lack of any physical competition between the females. How can the male possibly choose the best without regard for their physical abilities? Can they bear pups who are strong Hunters? Although hunting does not play much of a part in modern ooman culture, surely a male would wish for his blood line to be strong and able? Factions of oomans do battle each other. A male should require his pups to be bold, brave and strong, with good eyesight and the ability to reason quickly! Yet, none of this was discussed in this viewing. Not once did the male investigate the blood line of any of the females. No wonder oomans are so weak! I find nothing commendable in what we saw. Nor even interesting. Did you?"

Ulfr tossed a gauntlet at his brother who was silent in introspection for a moment. A new angle on the situation had formed in his mind and he was figuring out how to best present it with all due respect. Ulfr waited politely. Pauses in speaking to allow another to think were always honored. Finally, Sig'dan replied, "I am in agreement with your words, brother. And I also add to them. I do not know if these females and this male are representative of ooman society. For instance, when we dine and converse with Honorable Sal'lee, she does not speak to us as these females did."

Sig'dan's eyes were carefully upon Ulfr as he spoke, watching for any reaction, even as he sorted through the molecules of scent drifting into his airway. _Why is Ulfr interested in the courting of oomans? He takes what ooman females he wishes to mate with. Is he…would he…take Sal'lee? He would not dare take the Matriarch of Paya's House without the consent of the High Council! Would he?_

"I also wonder…what it would be like to be pursued, to be fought over, by so many females."

Ulfr huffed out air in an expression of surprise. "Ha! You certainly have a creative mind, my brother. I regret that this mission has interfered with the normal pursuits of a newly Blooded Hunter. So the thought of many slavering for your seed titillates you?"

Humiliation flooded Sig'dan. He had not meant for his shared thought to be interpreted that way. And yet, Ulfr's response was not without truth. Quickly, the young Hunter worked to recover his dignity, but only succeeded in deepening the hole. "It appears to be normal for this society. Perhaps the females and the males prefer it this way. It does occur to me that because ooman females are so small and controllable, it would be possible to copulate with several of them at the same time."

Ulfr's mandibles opened wide and then closed. _This pup needs a mate. Soon. To imagine such a thing…is…not normal._

Sensing his brother's shock at his admission, Sig'dan again quickly came to his own defense. "I only postulate it as a physical possibility. Of course, one would choose the fittest, best female and then focus on seeding her to produce offspring." He tipped his head down a bit in slight apology for offending Ulfr's sensibilities and then made the mistake of opening his mouth again. "Of course, you have experience with Yautja females where mating with a single one was the only possibility."

"You question my strength, Sig'dan?" The Elder fairly bristled aggression, a snarl coming from deep in his throat.

"I KNOW of your strength, Ulfr. It would be stupid of me to question it. In my ignorance, I do not know of the strength of our own females as they died before I was marked." A longing sadness crossed Sig'dan's eyes and landed to rest in Ulfr's.

Ulfr softened to his brother's truth, "I make no challenge, brother. I am only perplexed by ooman behavior…in this area."

"If there is any way I may be of further assistance, Elder, I would be honored."

"Your offer is appreciated. Now, what should we watch next?" The hulking Yautja paused thoughtfully and then turned his head to his brother. "This is unusual. It is not long since we dined, and I find that I am hungry again."

"I am also! I will find something for us to eat while you search for another program." Off he ran to the food store and returned with a large platter of assorted pieces of raw meat accompanied by two huge flasks of liquid.

Ulfr grunted his approval as Sig'dan sat the tray down and plunked into the vice-command chair next to the Elder's. The two put their heads together over a listing on the screen that showed program titles and viewing times. Whenever Ulfr talon-tapped a title, a brief description appeared which he read aloud to Sig'dan. "CSI: Ames, an Iowa college town is brought to its knees by a serial killer. No courtship there." He scrolled down through the list. "Local and World News, various sports…here is something! "Survivor Couples: randomly matched couples are dropped at different spots on a desert island with minimal survival supplies. They must cooperate to survive and win. As they work together, is romance in the air?" The Hunter switched the viewer to the proper channel, "This may offer real possibilities! A true competition of survival would be interesting to observe."

Relaxing in their chairs, they put their clawed feet up on the command console and popped pieces of meat into their mouths, stopping occasionally to slurp down some c'ntlip.

With drum beats and clarion call, the show began with a synopsis of how the couples had met only moments before being shuttled off to their distant tropical island. Each pair had been put down in a separate location, surrounded by the ever present beach and miles of thick impenetrable forest. Verdant cliffs rose steeply just inland of the white beaches and small trickles of water could be seen sparkling as they bounced down the rocky slopes. The first tasks of each couple were to secure a water source and provide shelter for themselves. All couples had succeeded in these first survival steps, some with more cooperation and grace than others. The episode now began with the camera stopping by each couples camp and then following them in their search for food.

The Yautja were entranced. All of the carefully chosen contestants seemed fit, by ooman standards, and with some experience roughing it. They watched as one couple decided to make spears from branches, sharpen the ends, and try to spear fish in a cove. It took a great deal of trial and error, but eventually a large fish was taken. The elated couple cleaned it and roasted it over a small fire, then consumed it with zeal.

"They work well as a team," commented Ulfr. "Perhaps now that they are fed, mating will ensue." To his disappointment, the camera moved on to another couple. This pair was scouting through the forest edge for nuts and fruit. They found a tall leaning tree and the male managed to scale it and dislodge several large round hard-shelled fruits which fell to the ground. He and the female then spent a great deal of time and effort trying to break into the fruits. When they finally succeeded cracking one open, it yielded a watery juice and hard flesh that they then tried to scrape out. Lacking tools, it was a difficult process.

This time, Sig'dan voiced his opinion, "They work hard and use much energy for little reward. I doubt that fruit will provide them with much nutrition and they already have a water supply. Meat would have served them better."

"I agree," chimed in Ulfr. "This pair is stupid. They will not survive their environment."

They watched another couple set several snares in the forest made of vine. That couple went hungry that night, as did another whose spear fishing attempts were in vain. No attempts at courtship or mating were witnessed as the brothers watched the show. Finally, the pairs made their way along several well laid-out trails until they met up in a central space in the forest which was brightly lit with fires. There they sat on benches and a man stood in the center addressing them. Apparently, there was to be a competition. Previously bored Ulfr stopped trying to balance a bit of flesh on the tip of his left lower mandibular tusk and set straight up, clicking his excitement.

Spears and targets were provided and each couple, male and female, took their turn, each throwing three spears. Grunts of approval from the brothers were rare as only a few spears hit the center of the target. Most spears landed far from their mark and many did not even hit the round targets. Ulfr muttered to Sig'dan, "A 3rd long-cycle pup could do better!" Sig'dan nodded in agreement. The contest was finished and all gathered around the man that had called the game in the first place. He held a strange statue and awarded it to the couple who had scored the most points in spear throwing. Surprisingly, it was the couple who had spent the day futilely laying snares. The man called it the 'immunity idol'. Then the couples all went back to their benches and were shown camera footage of the day's adventures of the entire group. This part was summarized, Ulfr could tell, as they did not have to see again the recordings of each couples search for food. Then, to his great surprise, ballots were cast. Each person was tasked with the responsibility of voting another person off the island. Whoever was cast off, the remaining half of the couple would be on their own and could eventually be paired with someone else in the future as others were voted out.

The brothers looked at each other in complete bafflement. Voting a contestant out? It was beyond belief. In their minds, contests were waged by winning. Others lost. Period. There was no ballot to determine who should leave. What kind of bizarre game was this? What kind of logic could come up with such an idea? When the host announced that the couple who had won the immunity idol was spared from the vote, the Elder turned off the viewer in disgust.

"That is the dumbest thing I believe I have ever witnessed," he grumbled. "A complete waste of time."

"Perhaps not brother," Sig'dan chirped. "Looking at each pair, which of them do you consider might eventually mate with each other?"

"I would hope that it would be the couple who hunted successfully. They alone demonstrated good survival skills."

"I would hope that also. That is our hope based upon our societal values. So, I wonder, if oomans would agree with our assessment? Based upon ooman values, which couple would they wish to see mate?"

"Now THAT is something worth considering! Your thinking always brings value to any situation, brother. Is there more c'ntlip? This is a very good vintage."

Sig'dan would have blushed from his brother's highly unusual complement if he had been able. As it was, he was nearly struck silent. _It must be extremely important to Ulfr to understand this part of ooman behavior. Again, my thoughts turn to Sal'lee. She is…most interesting. And she was concerned when I injured myself the other evening while dining with an ooman fork. It was good…very good…to be the center of her attention. _Quickly, Sig'dan clamped down on his thoughts as he scented the beginning of his own ardor.

"I had not considered that this might arouse you, brother. How thoughtless of me! You without your first mating hunt! I will continue this watch for you to make amends. Enjoy your rest my brother."

And with that, Sig'dan was dismissed from his duty. Surprised at the apology, he had never before received one from Ulfr, the young Hunter went off to fetch more alcohol for his brother and then went to his quarters to rest, after a bit of fantasizing about mating an ooman female. The now brooding Ulfr flicked his eyes over the console to see that all was well, and then went back to his thoughts. _I do not know enough to even venture a guess as to which couple an ooman might root for. Would survival performance even matter to a society who can formulate the concept of winning immunity __**from**__ a challenge? This 'survival' is so obviously staged. Who cut the broad paths through the forest to the clearing where they all met? Who built the fires? What is the point of voting one of the contestants out of the contest? _

_Again, the honesty and discipline of our arena soothe my troubled mind. Our ways are superior and they make sense. One winner, one loser in a contest based purely upon ability. Our ability is made from our bloodline and our training. If you train hard, but your bloodline is weak – you lose. If your bloodline is strong and you are lazy about training – you lose. So we ensure that only the best of us goes on and our lines continually improve. _

_What will the addition of ooman bloodlines do to us? Will we become weaker with less skill? Will we abandon the ways of our Honorable ForeSires and ForeBearers to become less and less Yautja? The future troubles me. I can see no answers. I must only do what is my duty to each moment; the future must take care of itself. _

_Sal'lee…which couple would you choose? __Sig'dan looks at things with fresh eyes. His input is valuable in this area. I must find a way to have him learn more about Sal'lee for me. Of course, our mission comes first. If there were only a way to perhaps leave him at Paya's House for a time. He relates well to oomans, better than any of us. What could he learn about their customs, their mate selection customs? What could he learn about HER? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Meet your Mate!**

"Brother! I have the answer for you!" Sig'dan burst into the ship's communal bathing pool where Elder Ulfr was enjoying a hot soak. He stood on the in-floor tub's edge excitedly moving his side-jaws. Ulfr played it cool. Not opening his eyes at his sibling's outburst, he yawned and muttered, "Did you bother to see if I was alone in here before addressing me so informally?"

"No, Honorable Elder, I did not. I am indeed fortunate that no others from the crew are here to see my inexcusable breach of etiquette."

"So, you behave as a pup…again."

The younger Hunter bristled at the accusation as aggressive musk leaked from him to tantalize his older brother who chose to ignore it in favor of harassing his underling instead.

"And what should I, as your Mission Elder, choose as your suitable and well-earned punishment?" He paused dramatically and Sig'dan tensed. What would Ulfr do this time to humiliate him? He had already been ordered to scrub the entire exterior hull several times on this mission. The interior floor plates had also been cleaned…twice now. It was true that he was young and lacked experience, especially in having the brother that he idolized as the leader of his first mission as a fully Blooded Hunter.

His shoulders sagged a bit as he contemplated what his next assignment might be. He had not been ordered to clean and reorganize the food store yet. Such a prospect would not be too difficult and could be finished before Kylfa and the others had much time to make fun of his latest foible. He bowed his head in automatic submission and missed Ulfr's eyes opening and flashing with good humor.

_How long should I continue? My brother is properly subordinate before me and I know of the others humor at his repeated punishment for disrespecting my position. Still, he has come claiming a solution to my problem – presumably learning about ooman courtship. I will extend mercy. After I have a bit more fun!_

"I await your answer." His voice remained stern as he fought to suppress the clicks that would betray his inner laughter.

Head still bowed, Sig'dan replied mournfully, "The food store has not been cleaned and reorganized yet."

"Ha! You think I should allow you into our food supply where you can enjoy a snack or two while you restack our provisions? What punishment would that be? ANSWER ME!" He ended with a roar.

Sig'dan's head flew up at the unanticipated challenge even as an answering growl started but then stuck in his throat. To challenge an Elder over choosing your deserved punishment was a rudeness even he could not sink to, even when the Elder was your domineering big brother. His head began to sink in automatic submission when he caught the gleam in Ulfr's eyes along with the faint scent of barely suppressed humor.

Sig'dan's mandibles flared wide and in a flash he leapt upon his tormentor. A great splashing tussle ensued, with Ulfr pretending that he feared the young Hunter's attack, which only incensed the newly Blooded further. But even he could not stop his growls from turning to chortles as Ulfr splashed in feigned helplessness below the water with his neck in Sig'dan's strong grip. A grip that was incapable of completely surrounded the great ringed neck, let alone snapping or strangling its owner. As Ulfr finally breached for a sputtered gulp of air, the attempted vengeance turned into a playful slugfest with neither Hunter able to do much damage due to unrestrained laughter. Finally, they both sat beside each other, gasping for breath.

"Good fight." The Elder offered.

"I am growing!" The younger announced, still brash from his emotions. Then he became more serious, "It was thoughtless of me. I will renew my attempts to act honorably regarding your status, my Honored Elder."

"Do that. I believe that the water recycling filtration system will need cleaning soon. Kylfa is scheduled to perform that unsavory duty, but the duty roster can be altered."

Sig'dan's brow went up. Unsavory indeed! No matter how much he showered, Kylfa would stink for days. "I understand, Elder." He again looked down to show capitulation.

"Now, what was it you were going to tell me when you entered?"

Sig'dan brightened, "I have found an ideal way for you to learn about ooman customs for obtaining a mate!" He waited for permission to continue and saw his brother give a slight nod of approval. "There is a complex network of communication that is known as 'the internet.' Oomans use it for all types of communication, including selecting a mate. I have found what is called 'a site' that exists simply to introduce mate-seekers to each other. A great deal of information is exchanged between site users before they seek to meet each other face-to-face. I believe that you could masquerade as an ooman male and find out a great deal about how to interface with a ooman female. You have only to register on the site, answer questions about yourself and post a picture. We can use the picture of some male to represent you."

Ulfr sat chin-deep in the steaming water as he took in all his brother's words.

"You are learning much from the oomans. How did you happen to be searching for such a thing?"

Sig'dan received his older brother's best full-on demanding stare and knew that he would settle for nothing less than truth. He also knew, however, that there are certain ways to state the truth.

"I was looking for information that might assist me in my mating hunt." His innocent stare followed by one slow blink did not satisfy the Elder's suspicions.

"Indeed. And how did you think creating a false front on an ooman relationship site would assist you?

"Oh, I did not create any information on myself there. I was only investigating what the sites where and looking at some sample profiles put out to advertise what you might find there. It was…most stimulating."

His simple honesty finally appealed to Ulfr who realized that his sibling had been only shopping for something to use for porn.

"I understand your situation, my brother. It is most difficult for you. Especially to be placed in contact with ooman females such as you are in the Paya's House lab. At least none of them carry scent."

"True," Sig'dan replied ruefully. "I have checked."

"All of them?" Ulfr's extended mandibles grinned back.

"Sei, each and every one. I was reprimanded by Matriarch Sal'lee for doing so."

"Brother, I will see that you get your earned and well-deserved hunt as soon as this mission is completed. My word is my truth!"

They clasped forearms and the Elder gave a solemn nod, his heavy beaded locks clicking their alien 'amen' to seal his oath. Then releasing himself from this intimacy, he again spoke, "I require your assistance in creating this ooman facsimile to represent myself to ooman females. Their reaction and replies to my character may well prove enlightening. Your idea is most welcomed, Sig'dan! I am anxious to begin."

"Then let us dry and retreat to your private com." Sig'dan was enthused by his brother's appreciation and eager to also learn for himself. He hoped that Ulfr would readily share any female's reactions."

A bit later, in the Elder's quarters, two large Hunters set hunched over a screen and talon panel. Discussions regarding how to answer the questions were only interrupted by the slow tapping as Ulfr translated words into written English.

"The first question is 'what is your name'. I had not thought what I might call myself. Do you have any ideas?"

Sig'dan quickly replied, "In some cultures, the first ooman male was called A-dam."

"A-dam. A-dam." The odd name rolled around in the Elder's throat. "Sie, that will do. And a second name? It should be something noble."

"What about their word for us – Hunter?"

Ulfr keyed in the name 'Adam Hunter'. Now they want an address – my location. Hmmmm. I will enter the location of Paya's House," he chortled as he keyed. "If any unauthorized ooman tries to enter there, they will be detained…perhaps even killed."

Sig'dan scowled, "If anyone tries to locate you, it will probably be a female won't it? Then you will be responsible for her death."

"I will only experiment on this site for a short time. Then I will destroy my record."

The Elder went on to enter other basic data until he came to the request for him to upload his picture. Turning to Sig'dan he growled, "What now, brilliant one? This was your idea. How am I to do this?"

"Easy," Sig'dan answered, coolly. "Let me 'drive'."

Ulfr looked confused until he realized that Sig'dan wanted to tap the control panel. He shoved it toward the newly Blooded, still looking skeptical. Sig'dan confidently entered his search terms and was quickly rewarded with many pictures of young muscular men in their prime. "There, select one."

He set back smugly in his chair while Ulfr browsed, muttering to himself. "I did not realize that so many oomans were this fit."

"This is an unusual grouping, brother. They are known as 'body builders'."

"Good title. Here! Here is my choice! But, he may be known. Is there any way to alter his features so that he will not be recognized?"

"Sei." Sig'dan again took over the panel. He accessed a photo-altering app, and then loaded the picture in it. "How would you like it altered?"

"Longer hair, his head appears naked."

Sig'dan quickly changed the short brown hair into long flowing locks that parted over the man's enormous shoulders.

"Better," muttered Ulfr. "Now can you give him a bald head on top?"

"I can, but his skull will be very shiny and smooth."

"Do you think it better with hair?"

"I do."

"Leave it then. Now thin his brows so he doesn't appear to have fur glued to his forehead and flatten his nose so that it does not poke out so much. Good! Now, darken his skin – he is sickeningly pale."

Sig'dan completed the changes and presented the final portrait to his critical brother, "See? No one will ever guess that this was originally an ooman named Arnold Schwarzenegger!

"Well done! Now for the rest of the profile. Pull up the first question and read it," he ordered.

Sig'dan obeyed and carefully read, "How would you describe yourself?"

"Very desirable male," Ulfr began. "Superior Hunter with many trophies. Courageous and strong with impeccable honor," Ulfr began to wax warmly over this task. "You know this could have been a great benefit when we had our females. I could have advertised myself over all the Clan ships!"

Sig'dan glanced doubtfully at his brother as he tapped away.

"What is it? Is the description not accurate? Should I say more?"

"It is an accurate description. I am not certain how ooman females will view it."

"Well THAT is the purpose of this isn't it? I want to know their reaction to me and learn from it. I don't know how much of a Hunter this Arnold ooman is, but he is undoubtedly strong. Hopefully courageous and with honor. Next question."

"What are you looking for in a woman?"

"Excellent question!" Ulfr paused, giving thought. "Seeking strong, courageous female who also has great honor to be the mother of my offspring."

"How about using the word children instead of offspring? It sounds more ooman."

"Agreed. Next question"

"Where would you take a woman on the first date?"

"Now this is where I am confused, I admit. I researched this word and one meaning is a dried fruit. Do you have any experience with it?"

Sig'dan was pleased to share his knowledge, "Sei! I was in the lab working and two of the females were speaking about a date that one of them had experienced. It was an event where a male took her to a place that offered meals. They ate together, talked and then went to something called a 'movie'. I researched that also – it is the recorded entertainment – a visual story."

"Sei, sei. I have witnessed such a thing." He stopped and thought to himself, _if I were offering such a date to Sal'lee – where would I take her? There is nowhere in Paya's House to share a meal except where we have been in the hospitality room, as she calls it. _

"Sig'dan, search in a nearby city and locate a suitable dining establishment."

The room went quiet except for the staccato of the young Hunter's nail tips as he carried out Ulfr's request. "There are many such places." He began to name them off, "Mak-Don-alds, Piz-za Hut, Ma-ca-ro-ni Grill…"

"Wait! A grill is a device for roasting meat on a flame. Put that down. On the date I would take the female to this Grill place. And then what for entertainment?"

Sig'dan clicked away and soon the town's movie listings appeared. "Pick one that sounds like it is for mating," ordered Ulfr. Sig'dan perused the listings finally guessing at a likely choice. In answer to the date question, he entered, 'I would take her to dinner at the Macaroni Grill and then to see a movie such as Deep Impact: the Aftermath.'

"Very good!" Ulfr praised, what else?

"What is your idea of romance?"

"I have no idea what that word means," Ulfr admitted.

Sig'dan quickly looked it up. "There are several meanings for the word, but I believe this is what the question refers to," he read the definition,

"**a. **A love affair: _His __romance __with __her __lasted __only __a __month._

**b. **Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love: _They __kept __the __romance __alive __in __their __marriage __for __35 __years._

**c. **A strong, sometimes short-lived attachment, fascination, or enthusiasm for something: _a __childhood __romance __with __the __sea."_

"The first meaning is the obvious one, but what about the second?" Ulfr's face scrunched with the effort of trying to understand.

"I think you should consider both. From what I have observed, oomans, especially females, are very interested in both of these things."

"Well, you word it. I cannot think of anything."

Again, Sig'dan keyed in the letters, 'My idea of romance is a love affair between us that is ardent and lasts for thirty-five years.'

"What do you think?" he asked Ulfr.

"Sounds good, but thirty-five Blue Planet years seems short."

"Recall they have shorter life spans."

"Change it to 'lasts for life'. I believe that will be more appealing."

Sig'dan obeyed. They spent the next several hours reading and answering questions until Ulfr was ready to explode with the stupidity of it all and Sig'dan's talon tips felt bruised.

"How in Paya's name can this be of assistance? The same question is asked again and again in slightly different forms. Are ooman males that stupid?"

"In my experience, no, my brother. Perhaps it is a test of consistency in answers?"

The Elder's response was a roar, "I've had enough. Let it rest and I will check it tomorrow to see if any females have responded. You did remember to click on 'man seeking woman' didn't you? If any males answer I will feel inclined to track them down and remove their spines!"

"I remembered," Sig'dan answered quietly.

"Meet me here after the morning exercise in the kehrite. We will examine the responses together."

* * *

><p>Early the next day, Sig'dan eagerly announced himself at Ulfr's quarters and was admitted entrance. Feigning a casual manner, Ulfr sat down at the com but shoved the keyboard to his brother. "You click faster than I do. Access the information."<p>

Faster than Ulfr could make a hair turn, the website was on screen. "You have replies!" Sid'dan announced.

"You sound amazed," Ulfr scowled, "Of course I have replies. Read them."

"You look like a god, but upon reading your bio I see that you have the brain of a caveman. No way, Hosea."

"I appear to her as a god!" Ulfr basked in the comment, "but brain of a caveman? And what is Hosea?"

Sig'dan gulped, "Honorable Elder, I believe that for some unexplainable reason she is judging your intellect to be low – as in the precursor in evolution to modern oomans." He clicked away, "Hosea is a name. I have no idea how it is being used, except that it does rhyme."

"Read another!" Ulfr barked.

"Ooooooooo muscle man! But hunter? You murderer of animals! I hope their souls haunt you!"

Ulfr was silent. Sig'dan did not dare to break it.

"Read the next," came the quieter command.

"Well finally – a real man! I hunt too, big guy. I don't know if I'm ready to have your babies but I do fill the bill in every other way. Take a look at my bio – Alice."

Sig'dan pulled up the bio without waiting for an order. The picture of a robust young female filled the screen. Ulfr bent toward the screen and read for several minutes. "She hunts! Ha! An ooman female who hunts! Excellent. And she believes that her body is a temple – what does that mean? She worships herself?" Without allowing Sig'dan to reply he continued, "She enjoys being outdoors and she says that our first date sounds very interesting to her. She wants to know why such a movie was chosen and if it is a sexual innuendo and hopes that she is not being too forward."

"Innuendo?" The hunter's mind sorted through his English words as he considered the Deep Impact title. Suddenly the room was full of roaring laughter. "I like this female! If she is as she presents herself, she would be a worthy addition to my females!"

Sig'dan remained with his talons poised over the panel, digesting every detail.

"Ask her what I can do to show her my further interest. What would be appealing to her in a male? Now the learning begins, young brother!"

Sig'dan entered the words and was surprised when a reply came right back. "She is on the system!"

"What does she say?" Ulfr nearly crowded him away from the screen.

The answer came back, 'A big bunch of flowers would be great! I love roses!'

"Key in these words – you warrant them."

'Love the way you talk, baby. What can I do to show you MY interest?'

This was unexpected, but the answer was obvious to a Yautja. "Enter these words – show me your biggest trophy." Sig'dan did and they waited for the reply.

'Well, baby, I'd hope it would be you.'

Ulfr war-whooped his growling response even as Sig'dan nearly fell off the panel.

"She is a most aggressive female! Tell her that!" Sig'dan clicked away.

'Oh baby, you have no idea! Tell me, do you like chains? Leather? Would you mind momma in EVERY WAY?'

"What the hel?" Sig'dan voiced, as Ulfr's brow formed a wavy serpent. The two brothers looked at each other.

"I have no idea what she is talking about," Ulfr admitted, "Do you?"

"No, let me research." His keying was periodically interrupted by Alice's texts, 'Baby, I'm waiting!' and 'Awwww, don't be shy!'

"I believe I have an answer," Sig'dan dared not look over at Ulfr. "She is a female who derives sexual pleasure from punishing males, from dominating them mentally and physically."

"No c'jit?"

"No c'jit."

"Balls of the Dark Hunter. She could be the ooman incarnation of a Yautja female except that they wanted us to dominate them sexually. Well, we had to for safety reasons. But I never took any sexual pleasure from anything other than…sex. Nor did they. To my knowledge. Amazing!"

"What shall I tell her?"

"Nothing. Erase my entry in the site. She will only have Adam Hunter in her dreams. I have learned enough from this."

* * *

><p>Sally went back to her apartment after a long day of work. Exhausted she began to draw herself a hot bath. "A nice long soak and glass of wine is just what I need to put this day behind me." As she was pulling a stemless glass from the cupboard, the doorbell rang. <em>What now? Can't I have a few hours to myself? Has someone stubbed their toe and can't fix it without me? <em>She opened the door to greet a huge bouquet of white flowers.

"Delivery for you ma'am."

"Oh my God! For me? They're beautiful" She took the bundle in her arms and set about recutting the stems and arranging them. There were white roses, white lilies, white carnations and even the veins of the green ferns were traced in silvery white.

Later, soaking in her tub, she peered through the open doorway at the huge arrangement filling her largest glass vase on her dresser. A small card was placed by the flowers which read, 'We'll be landing tomorrow at seven pm your time. White is Paya's color. I look forward to seeing you at dinner. – Ulfr'

Sally tipped the red wine to her lips. _Intriguing. Brawn, brains and style! You're making quite an impact on me, Ulfr. What next? Dinner and a movie? _


End file.
